hey wow its summer already!!! and im like bored already too D; but some friends invited me to go swimming but i keep having to make excuses cause i need to take care of mama ><
anyways today i finally got my insurance!! :D so i can drive! woot!
ok so i was thinking, maybe i should start updating my posts again, well, maybe like a weekly post idk. but i wanna have like an online diary really and just update things that are going one :3
i reckon anyone would care or visit this place so its pretty private. lol
yea this is mainly for me so its basically a diary xDDD
from thurs: graduating!!! :DDD out of school
driving test in DMV and passed!!! woot
tracy's going away party!!! DANCE CENTURAL!! omg super fun <3
on sunday it was father's day and went to grandparent's house, saw megan and kyle, got some good money
went to daiso and witnessed a fight and mistaken dad for a stranger. teehee
and at night, uncle henry was pissed at us, and the laptop deal is over :( so basically no laptop :((( booo
today started reading the girl most likey from tracy. and cleaned my desk :)
Monday, June 20, 2011
in senior year English, MCL, we do this thing called prolific writing every Friday and this is prolific writing #1 of second semester :D
I am from...Poem
i am from the balcony and the sweet scent of markers.
i am a person woken up by
roosters, birds
sweet air at the balcony
and my mother's readings
i am a monthly visitor to the barber
a weekly explorer to the market
and a daily elf in the stationary store
an hourly rider on the tricycle
i am a champion on jump ropes
hoola hoops
an Olympian on ice cream
cake, lychee, and pears
adventures on the yellow mountains
around the public lake
cheong pyeong
the three story house
drawers full with broken toys
shoe rack with purple sandals
a Buddhist alter flickering lights
"life is not fair"
I believe in the second star to the right
Standing on the balcony <3
Friday, December 17, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
on fall break
imma sunday, so tomorrow is officailly thanksgiving break!!!
im happy~~~ and so much to do~~~ and i wanna go shopping~
im like becomming materialistic right now. kinda in the process. yesterday i was sharing with my siblings of what i want: i want sensei's daughter's haircut, dye my hair, get circle lenses, have really awesome Asian clothes *0*
omg!!!! and workman boot shoes!!! from forever 21 and they are high heels so they are perfect!!!
i want alot more things but cant really think of it right now. like seriously i think about waht i want every so often and thinking i need to go shopping and crap. i feel bad because this is near thanksgiving and all im thinking about is waht i dont have and want. its like looking at the empty half of my bottle, or the hole in the donut. ><
i really want to change myself like start wearing makeup and be more confident!!! thats right, confident!!!!!
anyways, today we went to target cause they had jeans for like 10 $!!! and i bought other stuff like tang top and thermal and other stuff.... then went to church and during lunch time, i met few NGA pplz and they were sooooo frickin pretty! OMGAAAAA!!! especially the one from Sydney, she is like perfect! with hazel eyes, beautiful accent, short cute hair and tall and skinny. hell i almost died just talking to her ;D btw, no im not bi or gay. lol
after that we went ice skating and saw jenny there too!!! <333 she brought some gloves and hats and scarf! she is so nice and caring!!! it was fun, but my ankle hurt so bad and now i have a huge bruise on my butt that i can barely sit or stand or walk with. anyways yay :DDD
this week, there is this eye contact solution on sale for FREE! and i wanted to get it, but dad didnt let my buy circle lenses :( i wanted them so bad though...but i checked online if they were safe, and they werent. pplz like my friends that wear those awesome pigmented color contacts are actually taking quite a risk.
lets make some goals for this week shall we?
btw, really want to go to winter workshop and NGA but because of that stupid FFF problem, i dont feel confident :( maybe i should see a doctor? ;_____;; *sigh*
majoong* on saturday. and i won!!! actual gambling.lol. got 5$ :D
yay! skating with my besties <333
im happy~~~ and so much to do~~~ and i wanna go shopping~
im like becomming materialistic right now. kinda in the process. yesterday i was sharing with my siblings of what i want: i want sensei's daughter's haircut, dye my hair, get circle lenses, have really awesome Asian clothes *0*
omg!!!! and workman boot shoes!!! from forever 21 and they are high heels so they are perfect!!!
i want alot more things but cant really think of it right now. like seriously i think about waht i want every so often and thinking i need to go shopping and crap. i feel bad because this is near thanksgiving and all im thinking about is waht i dont have and want. its like looking at the empty half of my bottle, or the hole in the donut. ><
i really want to change myself like start wearing makeup and be more confident!!! thats right, confident!!!!!
anyways, today we went to target cause they had jeans for like 10 $!!! and i bought other stuff like tang top and thermal and other stuff.... then went to church and during lunch time, i met few NGA pplz and they were sooooo frickin pretty! OMGAAAAA!!! especially the one from Sydney, she is like perfect! with hazel eyes, beautiful accent, short cute hair and tall and skinny. hell i almost died just talking to her ;D btw, no im not bi or gay. lol
after that we went ice skating and saw jenny there too!!! <333 she brought some gloves and hats and scarf! she is so nice and caring!!! it was fun, but my ankle hurt so bad and now i have a huge bruise on my butt that i can barely sit or stand or walk with. anyways yay :DDD
this week, there is this eye contact solution on sale for FREE! and i wanted to get it, but dad didnt let my buy circle lenses :( i wanted them so bad though...but i checked online if they were safe, and they werent. pplz like my friends that wear those awesome pigmented color contacts are actually taking quite a risk.
lets make some goals for this week shall we?
btw, really want to go to winter workshop and NGA but because of that stupid FFF problem, i dont feel confident :( maybe i should see a doctor? ;_____;; *sigh*
Sunday, September 19, 2010
on the train
its been like 3 weeks already from the beginning of school. i cant really say that time had flew by, nor i would say it was really slow. alot of things happened since last time. and as u can see, i barely have any time to write this. i dont even know where to start :/
i am now currently busy on to finding colleges and universities. i want to go to UC Irvine, but after looking at my SAT scores from the rev. prep class (1410) my hope just went down like a slop. lol. ok, not even funny, i need to be serious. at the same time, i dont know what major i want to do, so it would be hella waste of money to go to a UC and living in a dorm like that. so i am also thinking of going to a community college to explore some classes. what does that sound? the bad thing is, chabot college sucks, it doesnt have any of the classes i want to take, like cullinary pastry, japanese, korean, and some other ones...
also i need to start doing finacial aid and scholarships, but the college app comes first since jenny told me that they due during spring time. blah.........
about my classes and the anxiety, its complicated. im not even sure if the med is working anymore, i want to double the dose and see. i completely too distracted to use any of the relaxing methods to calm myself down. but i guess im kinda more relaxed but i just need to train to not think about my surroundings, thats all.
daddy and me also tried meditation for few days and i really liked it. but since we didnt have time, we stopped :((( yea, art is really busy. i really hope i can catch up to things.
my hair grew like an inch more and its in a pretty ugly shape right now. i keep thinking of cutting my hair really short this time and dying it brown and getting few more piercings in the ear...lol. maybe later. but i really wanna cut my hair and i dont want my hair to grow so fast. and plus even though my hair is short, it sheds soooooo freakin much!!! like more than ever! i wonder why.... also, at school people keep telling me there's hair on my neck or shirt and stuff... so unattractive.lol. i wanna have a real chance on using GATSBY ~ <3
Lisa has changed so much...she is growing out her hair really long so she can curl perm it, and she got a new peircing on the very top of the ear. she hangs out w/ other asians from other school and party with them and go to stranger's houses. she wears a leather jacket and a stylish leather bag too. she told me she wants to get two tattoos when she goes back to china...and she talks more to zhia Yin than us now...since we dont have anything to talk about anymore. i dont even know her anymore. last year, she told me she is going to completely concentrate on school work, but now she is somewhat the opposite. i guess the changes are good for her. after all, she has more friends and stuff. im sad.....
i am now currently busy on to finding colleges and universities. i want to go to UC Irvine, but after looking at my SAT scores from the rev. prep class (1410) my hope just went down like a slop. lol. ok, not even funny, i need to be serious. at the same time, i dont know what major i want to do, so it would be hella waste of money to go to a UC and living in a dorm like that. so i am also thinking of going to a community college to explore some classes. what does that sound? the bad thing is, chabot college sucks, it doesnt have any of the classes i want to take, like cullinary pastry, japanese, korean, and some other ones...
also i need to start doing finacial aid and scholarships, but the college app comes first since jenny told me that they due during spring time. blah.........
about my classes and the anxiety, its complicated. im not even sure if the med is working anymore, i want to double the dose and see. i completely too distracted to use any of the relaxing methods to calm myself down. but i guess im kinda more relaxed but i just need to train to not think about my surroundings, thats all.
daddy and me also tried meditation for few days and i really liked it. but since we didnt have time, we stopped :((( yea, art is really busy. i really hope i can catch up to things.
my hair grew like an inch more and its in a pretty ugly shape right now. i keep thinking of cutting my hair really short this time and dying it brown and getting few more piercings in the ear...lol. maybe later. but i really wanna cut my hair and i dont want my hair to grow so fast. and plus even though my hair is short, it sheds soooooo freakin much!!! like more than ever! i wonder why.... also, at school people keep telling me there's hair on my neck or shirt and stuff... so unattractive.lol. i wanna have a real chance on using GATSBY ~ <3
Lisa has changed so much...she is growing out her hair really long so she can curl perm it, and she got a new peircing on the very top of the ear. she hangs out w/ other asians from other school and party with them and go to stranger's houses. she wears a leather jacket and a stylish leather bag too. she told me she wants to get two tattoos when she goes back to china...and she talks more to zhia Yin than us now...since we dont have anything to talk about anymore. i dont even know her anymore. last year, she told me she is going to completely concentrate on school work, but now she is somewhat the opposite. i guess the changes are good for her. after all, she has more friends and stuff. im sad.....
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
school
man, this is the second day of school and already has so much work and pressure...especially AP art and the anxiety crap thing.
i now taking full dose of the medication and cant wait for the full effect of celexa.
first day was just...i dont know. looking back, i had a lot of mixed feelings but one of the most i can recognize is anxiety of course. for the whole controling my emotions and thoughts and anxiety for the first day, i didnt do so well :(
i was super exhausted after school, but i couldnt rest. i needed to do all the HW before the first class of SAT prep( 3 hr. class ><;) it was horrible, we didnt have the book or anything so we had to share with other pplz, and MOST of the pplz were covering their nose the whole time and the teacher( cute and enthusiastic) joked about how the room smelled, and it requires way more participation that i thought because the class is only less than 10 pplz... the good thing is, its actually quite helpful. so i need to do my best for SaT! and since dad payed 1000 bucks for both of us....it killed the wallet.
after the class. approx 9pm (i can experience the suffering of the asian students...cram school) i was super pooped and had a BIG headache. ><;; n i can bearly walk. i guess cause so many things went on just only one day and just right out from the summer break when a person is still not in the mood to do anything but sleep (lol. i dont make sense.)
anyways, end up i even watched 2 hrs of AMerica's got talent after that since i cannot miss the semi finals!!! and man, it was an intense night.
second day of school went pretty well i guess. i did A LOT of breathing exersize and kept telling myself that "i am normal" i guess that kinda helps. still getting use to my shoulder bag. i think its really ugly and cheap...i miss te forever21 leather bag!!!
i now taking full dose of the medication and cant wait for the full effect of celexa.
first day was just...i dont know. looking back, i had a lot of mixed feelings but one of the most i can recognize is anxiety of course. for the whole controling my emotions and thoughts and anxiety for the first day, i didnt do so well :(
i was super exhausted after school, but i couldnt rest. i needed to do all the HW before the first class of SAT prep( 3 hr. class ><;) it was horrible, we didnt have the book or anything so we had to share with other pplz, and MOST of the pplz were covering their nose the whole time and the teacher( cute and enthusiastic) joked about how the room smelled, and it requires way more participation that i thought because the class is only less than 10 pplz... the good thing is, its actually quite helpful. so i need to do my best for SaT! and since dad payed 1000 bucks for both of us....it killed the wallet.
after the class. approx 9pm (i can experience the suffering of the asian students...cram school) i was super pooped and had a BIG headache. ><;; n i can bearly walk. i guess cause so many things went on just only one day and just right out from the summer break when a person is still not in the mood to do anything but sleep (lol. i dont make sense.)
anyways, end up i even watched 2 hrs of AMerica's got talent after that since i cannot miss the semi finals!!! and man, it was an intense night.
second day of school went pretty well i guess. i did A LOT of breathing exersize and kept telling myself that "i am normal" i guess that kinda helps. still getting use to my shoulder bag. i think its really ugly and cheap...i miss te forever21 leather bag!!!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
surrender...medication?
school will start exactly one week!!! ><;;;;
im sooo not prepared: bad haircut, no new clothes, crappy messenger bag...etc. but especially the my self esteem and the anxiety disorder!!!
even though i practiced relaxing techniques, i dont think its enough, and i m like desperate for some solution.
medication is the last thing i want to consider, but because school gonna start and i have no other choice. :(
and another thing is... I CANNOT SWALLOW PILLS!!!!
but i was so super relieved when i saw the tiny tiny tablets of the antidepressent.lol
medication was easier to get than i thought (although i think i looked desperate to the phyciatrists* xp)
yea, hope it will work, and i hope i wont have to take it for so long, or worse, get depended on it :[
btw, i forgot the name of the antidepressant. ^^;
im sooo not prepared: bad haircut, no new clothes, crappy messenger bag...etc. but especially the my self esteem and the anxiety disorder!!!
even though i practiced relaxing techniques, i dont think its enough, and i m like desperate for some solution.
medication is the last thing i want to consider, but because school gonna start and i have no other choice. :(
and another thing is... I CANNOT SWALLOW PILLS!!!!
but i was so super relieved when i saw the tiny tiny tablets of the antidepressent.lol
medication was easier to get than i thought (although i think i looked desperate to the phyciatrists* xp)
yea, hope it will work, and i hope i wont have to take it for so long, or worse, get depended on it :[
btw, i forgot the name of the antidepressant. ^^;
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