on the train

its been like 3 weeks already from the beginning of school. i cant really say that time had flew by, nor i would say it was really slow. alot of things happened since last time. and as u can see, i barely have any time to write this. i dont even know where to start :/
i am now currently busy on to finding colleges and universities. i want to go to UC Irvine, but after looking at my SAT scores from the rev. prep class (1410) my hope just went down like a slop. lol. ok, not even funny, i need to be serious. at the same time, i dont know what major i want to do, so it would be hella waste of money to go to a UC and living in a dorm like that. so i am also thinking of going to a community college to explore some classes. what does that sound? the bad thing is, chabot college sucks, it doesnt have any of the classes i want to take, like cullinary pastry, japanese, korean, and some other ones...
also i need to start doing finacial aid and scholarships, but the college app comes first since jenny told me that they due during spring time. blah.........

about my classes and the anxiety, its complicated. im not even sure if the med is working anymore, i want to double the dose and see. i completely too distracted to use any of the relaxing methods to calm myself down. but i guess im kinda more relaxed but i just need to train to not think about my surroundings, thats all.
daddy and me also tried meditation for few days and i really liked it. but since we didnt have time, we stopped :((( yea, art is really busy. i really hope i can catch up to things.

my hair grew like an inch more and its in a pretty ugly shape right now. i keep thinking of cutting my hair really short this time and dying it brown and getting few more piercings in the ear...lol. maybe later. but i really wanna cut my hair and i dont want my hair to grow so fast. and plus even though my hair is short, it sheds soooooo freakin much!!! like more than ever! i wonder why.... also, at school people keep telling me there's hair on my neck or shirt and stuff... so unattractive.lol. i wanna have a real chance on using GATSBY ~ <3

Lisa has changed so much...she is growing out her hair really long so she can curl perm it, and she got a new peircing on the very top of the ear. she hangs out w/ other asians from other school and party with them and go to stranger's houses. she wears a leather jacket and a stylish leather bag too. she told me she wants to get two tattoos when she goes back to china...and she talks more to zhia Yin than us now...since we dont have anything to talk about anymore. i dont even know her anymore. last year, she told me she is going to completely concentrate on school work, but now she is somewhat the opposite. i guess the changes are good for her. after all, she has more friends and stuff. im sad.....